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Larry Crowne

Review
A great homage to an early 90's romantic comedy (with an awesome 80's music video end credit sequence). Cute, fun, feel good.

Score
9 out of 10

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Elektra Luxx

Review
All these incredible actors you wonder "what the hell went wrong?" Not funny at all, not sexy, not entertaining, not anything really.

Score
2.5 out of 10

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The Hit List

Review
Love Cuba, wish he didn't loose theatrical dramas but at least this is his best straight-to-video film (and performance) in years. (note: not counting his amazing small role performance in American Gangster)

Score
7.5 out of 10

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Hesher

Review
Miracle movie. Incredibly funny, touching, sad, uplifting, wild, all at once. A rare blessing for film. Amazing performances, some actors very surprising.

Score
10 out of 10



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Paul

Review
First half is pretty lame, wanted to walk out. Then suddenly, BAM, it gets amazingly good. Maybe just needed a build up.

Score
9 out of 10 (tough call, ending is what matters most, second half picked up instead of died which is also better, but sticking though it until the second half knocks it a point down)

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Season of the Witch

Review
Not as bad as Cage's hair made it look. Some cheesy CGI but overall entertaining, and loved the "opposite" witchcraft approach.


Score
6.5 out of 10


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Hobo with a Shotgun

Review
Holy crap! Tarantino/Rodriguez watch out, there's a new cool cat in town. Way better than Machete, film buffs shouldn't miss this!

Score
10 out of 10

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Happythankyoumoreplease

Review
Looked lame, sounded pretentious, I watched it any way. Wow! Glad I did. Totally loveable characters, hilarious, sweet, just a great movie.

Score
10 out of 10

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I Am Number Four

Review
I loved Disturbia. Can't say the same for this. Mildly entertaining. The bad aliens were cool. Felt like big budget TV movie.

Score
6 out of 10 (I'd give it a 5 but guessing I would have enjoyed this much more in the theatre, not meant for the small screen)


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The Town

Review
Ben Affleck has proven with just two films he is one of the best directors currently working in Hollywood right now.

Score
10 out of 10

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Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet

Review
Great first 15 minutes, then nothing happens after that. Top gore effects, moments of feeling old school, but everything else is blah.

Score
3.5 out of 10

FYI - Danielle Harris and Bill Moseley aren't in that much even though they're the two actors (which is the only reason I rented this) whose names are on the cover.


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Id

Review
Hmmm. I've no idea what to say. Wow. Fucking sick, depraved, comedic, original, unwatchable yet can't take your eyes off it.

Score
I don't even know how to possibly rate this. 10 out of 10 for originality, sickness, and the guts to make this. 3 out of 10 for entertainment value (not that a film has to be entertaining but since this is basically unwatchable for how sick it is and I had to do everything I could to sit through it without puking, I need to add that score). It only gets a 3 because it's so bizarre and fascinating I was definitely entertained a little when I wasn't trying to figure out how to keep myself occupied the rest of the time from feeling like I was being fastened down to watch a real life torture.


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Coffy

Review
Now, to forget about Black Diva, let's remember an actual good film with a hot black chick bearing a nasty attitude and a gun. Tough, naked, and fine as hell - Pam Grier is Coffy. Her best film from that era. Not until Jackie Brown could anyone do better. Except she didn't get naked - damn.
I went over 22 words. Oh, well, Fuck you. Now back to my fantasy girl.

Score
10 out of 10


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Black Diva

Review
This is probably the worst film ever made. Definitely the worst movie trailer. Horrendous music, acting, script, yet somehow decent production value.

Score
1 out of 10 (it gets a 1 instead of a 0 simply for the story about it below)

Apparently this movie is a ripped off version of Crazy Like A Fox. Somebody stole the film and replaced new opening/ending credits and managed to completely wash out the picture and mess up the audio sync. Funny thing is I was wondering why the opening titles looked odd/out of place when watching it, and was flabbergasted why the image was so washed out but I looked past that and it still didn't matter. The worst film ever. Though I feel bad for the filmmakers because this is bullshit, and that a distributor accepted a stolen film even more bullshit, and even though the film is terrible you can see they actually spent time and effort making it but the film is just that bad regardless. The filmmaker might be thankful his name is not on it. Try again. Sorry.


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The Adjustment Bureau

Review
Emily Blunt - Wow - Yum. There's Matt Damon running again. Expected this to be unbelievably great. It was really good. Worth 2nd viewing.

Score
8.5 out 10

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The Company Men

Review
Great performances. Timely, obviously. Nice to see Affleck consistently getting good roles and Costner in great. A bit slow, however, but good.

Score
8 out of 10



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Unknown

Review
Not as exciting as Taken but it's not Taken, just riding off of Taken's success. Worth two viewings. Fun thriller. But forgettable.

Score
7.8 out of 10


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Sucker Punch

Review
Loved everything but the action/war part of the story. Boring. The other 2/3, amazing. Great idea, hot girls. 1/3 disappointment.

Score
7.2 out of 10


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The Warrior's Way

Review
Looked like it'd be cheesy fun. But what a bore. Damn CGI, ughh. Took 7 months to get to DVD. Guess why?

Score
3 out of 10


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Sanctum

Review
Unwatchable. Can't even tell if the actors were good the film's so horrid (except Richard Roxburgh, nothing makes this guy look bad).

Note: I can't fucking stand 3D, it's such an annoyance. I want to watch a movie, not go on a fucking ride, there's amusement parks for that. I want to be engaged in the story not flying fucking thingies. So, because of this, I had to seek out a theatre to see this in 2D. Now, I don't know the technical area of this but this movie looked so badly dubbed. Like a bad straight to video 90's film. It even looked like that picture wise as well. That was half (or more) of the film's problem. So, I heard that that might have been because it was only supposed to be in 3D, in which case, the film might not be as bad as I thought (something to do with the sound coming out of the speakers differently, etc). But the way I viewed it, terrible. And I've seen plenty of 3D movies in 2D and never saw this problem before, so I do think it was the film. If it was the fault of the theatre (Pacific Northridge), well, sorry Sanctum.

Score (based on how I viewed it)
3 out of 10

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True Grit

Review
Amazing acting. Probably a great film but I was too focused on why it wasn't a Coen's Brothers movie. Sorry. Bad ending.

Score
It still gets a 7 out of 10 but again if I hadn't known the Coen's Brothers directed it and didn't have completely different expectations it might have been a 9 or higher.


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Battle LA

Review
Strong opening, gritty/character driven, at first. Then it just becomes a tedious mess. Worth watching only at home if bored.

Score
5 out of 10

Note: If you mainly watched this for Michelle Rodriguez (like me) she's barely in it. Or for that awesome first trailer...sorry. Great trailer, lame movie.

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The Lincoln Lawyer

Review
Michael Pena should have been this whole movie. Wow. From just two scenes I was shouting "oscar nomination!" Decent thriller, not great.

Score
7 out of 10


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Transformers 2

Review
Do I need to remind anybody how bad this was? I guess I do because we're being infested with #3. Stop it.

Score
1 out of 10

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Win Win

Review
Starts slow, like all of McCarthy's films but just like all of them, 30 minutes in it picks up at top speed.

Score
9.5 out of 10




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Soul Surfer

Review
Scariest shark attack scene ever. And it lasted under a second. Cool/unusual surfing visuals. Some cheesy moments but overall great surprise.

Score
9 out of 10



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Thank God (ha, especially since this was a Christian based film) I was the only one in the theatre (even though this film was a hit I lucked out) and no annoying ass people, all to myself. Thank you God, and I gave it a great review, so, we're even.
















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Hanna

Review
Wow! Blunt, brilliant opening. Jaw dropping. Hanna kicks ass. I actually had fun watching Cate Blanchett. Perfect ending/music. Pulls no punches.

Score
9.75 out of 10

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Fast Five

Review
Why was The Rock pouring sweat in every scene when Vin was perfectly dry? Fun time. Still love A Man Apart.

Score
7 out of 10

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Bridesmaids

Review
Opens with a bang, eventually that bang withers away but you still remember it. An 80-90 minute film would have been perfect.

Score
8 out of 10


Plus , this did not help. Maybe I was sidetracked because half way through when it started getting boring the people behind me on my right side put their smelly feet on the chair next to me right by my face and the people behind on the left did the same fucking thing and they both kept rocking their feet and playing with their feet and between the fucking noise in my ear, the smell, and the shaking of my mother fucking chair, and all the times I had to turn around and look at them like "dude you fucking bitch what the fucking fuck" but they never got it. So, you fucking people who insist on putting your fucking feet up, I'm going to bring a goddamn chainsaw to the fucking movie theatre and cut them off, I swear, every fucking movie there's this goddamn problem, only this was the absolute worst. Slamming your feet on the chair in front of you shakes the chair next to it, if you haven't fucking noticed you stupid fucking dimwit. And feet don't smell the greatest so putting them next to somebody's face...you know what. Fuck it. You people just need to die. Waste o space already. An annoyance to life. Just die. There's no point explaining it because you're too fucking stupid to understand that somebody's nose can smell, their ears can hear, and their fucking seat is connected to the one next to it, so when that seat rocks, yours does.
FUCK, you're dead
The End

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The Tree of Life

Review
Sad. Uplifting. Tragic. Slow. Exhilarating. Tame. Bizarre. Surprising. Frustrating. Amazing visuals, performances and music. Still love The New World.

Score
9.5 out of 10

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Taxi Driver

Review
The Man. The King. The Top Dog. DeNiro's best. Scorsese's best. Shrader's best. Three Kings, at their peak. Never miss it!

Score
10 out of 10 (plus we'll throw in an extra 22 points simply for being Taxi Driver)

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